does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
