11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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