I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
where does the pee come out of this thing
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
