She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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