omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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