the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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