I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
