fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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