My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
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