Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
