if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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