I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
