You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
You need a sexual gate keeper
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
