It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
