after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
