i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
