Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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