just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
