your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Drunk is a universal language darling
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
