Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
