I want to have your abortion
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Boobs are out for the taking
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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