5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
