the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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