Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
