my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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