Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I smell like Dick and happiness
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
