i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
