Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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