ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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