I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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