My nipple is on Facebook.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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