Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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