Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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