I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
