Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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