Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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