I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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