I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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