I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
