After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
