After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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