Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
