Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
