Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
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