I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
