You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
