I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
