I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
