oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize