I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
