i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Randomize
