I love black thongs
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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