Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Randomize
