What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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