You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Randomize
