ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize