Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
