I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
