I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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