in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
