I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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