i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
