i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
