Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize