More tranny stories later!
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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