WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
