I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
